Relationship and connection charts

The Relationships page puts two charts on one bodygraph and shows what happens between them. It requires Plus.

The four channel dynamics

Every channel in the bodygraph falls into one of four categories when two charts are compared. The difference between them is precise, and it is worth learning because the two numbers on the page are built directly from it.

• Electromagnetic — each person carries one gate of a channel and the other carries its partner. Neither has the channel alone; together it forms. These are the connections people feel most strongly.
• Companionship — both people carry the same channel fully. Familiar and frictionless, with nothing to negotiate. Also the place with the least movement, because neither of you is bringing anything the other lacks.
• Compromise — one person carries the full channel and the other carries exactly one of its two gates. The person holding the single gate keeps having it activated, but never in their own way. This is the one that asks something of you.
• Dominance — one person carries the full channel and the other has neither gate. The defined person sets the tone in that area, often without either of you noticing.

The page also shows which centres are defined in the pair that were not defined in either person alone.

The two numbers

The page shows a connection figure and, beside it on the meter, a potential figure.

Connection is built from the electromagnetic and companionship channels — the ones that are simply there from the first day you meet. It describes what the pairing already is.

Potential adds the compromise channels. Compromise is the only one of the four dynamics that has to be earned: it is where one of you keeps getting a gate activated on someone else's terms, and it either becomes conscious or it quietly wears someone down. The gap between the two numbers is the size of that work.

Dominance does not move either number. What it does instead is show up as a who leads reading. Dominance running evenly in both directions is mutual leadership in separate domains and costs nothing. Dominance running mostly one way is one-sided conditioning, and a pairing that lopsided has a harder time doing the mutual work compromise asks for — so it holds back part of the potential until it is named.

Why potential can go above 100

Connection is capped at 100 and potential is not. That is deliberate, and the difference is worth understanding.

Connection describes a proportion — how much of what is possible between you is already switched on. A proportion cannot sensibly exceed the whole, so it does not.

Potential is not a proportion of anything. It is headroom, and headroom has no ceiling. Roughly one pairing in five ends up above 100, and those are usually the compromise-rich ones: parents and children, siblings, long marriages. If we capped potential at 100, the only way to fit both numbers on one scale would be to push connection down — and then precisely the relationships with the most room to grow would show the lowest, most discouraging figures. A number over 100 is the honest answer instead: there is more available here than the scale was built to hold.

What the numbers are not

They are not a verdict, and they are not a percentage. The scale is an index: it has no natural zero, and a pairing scoring 60 is not "60% compatible with" anything. The fact that potential can pass 100 is the clearest sign it is an index rather than a percentage.

A pairing with many electromagnetic channels is not better than one with few. It is a different kind of connection with different things to watch for — a high connection figure with almost no potential describes a pair with real chemistry and little to work on, which is not automatically the better outcome. Neither is a large gap a promise: potential is what becomes available if the compromise channels are worked consciously, not a score you are owed for trying.

Two charts run through this page will always produce the same numbers. Two people will not always produce the same relationship.

How to use it

Pick two charts from your library. Either can be yours; neither has to be. Charts you saved for other people work here, which is what makes the library worth building.

The most useful read is usually the open centres, and after that the compromise channels listed under where the potential sits. Where you are open and your partner is defined, you are consistently taking in their version of that centre — and it is worth knowing which parts of what you feel around them are theirs rather than yours.

Sharing and printing

There is a printable one-sheet for relationship charts, and you can share the view as a link. Both follow the same rules as the chart share links.